The Bachelor 22 Episode #3 Recap (Spoilers!!!)

Whew! This was a pretty eventful episode, so lets get right to it.

Date #1:

• Maquel, Jacqueline, Lauren B, Tia, Marikh, Bekah M, Bibiana, and Krystal go on the first date of the week. Together they form “GLOB” or the 'Gorgeous Ladies of the Bachelor'. This we learn, was a play on the “Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling” and means that the girls will be wrestling for Arie’s affections today.
• Considering most of these girls were on the Demo Derby date, in the previous week, it’s worrisome that they’re being asked to participate in yet another aggressive contact activity. Are they trying to give these girls head injuries?

Two former members of GLOW arrived to insult...I mean teach the girls.

Tia and Bibiana couldn’t take the instructor’s negativity and went off to cry, on the sidelines -2 Points Each

Tia cried again when Arie came to comfort her. -2 Points

Before the showdowns between the ladies began, Arie took to the ring. His opponent was none other than Rachel’s cast off Kenny King!

Arie won the match by assaulting the guy. That was a questionable move there, Arie...

• That wasn’t the only awkwardly sexual moment of the evening. Marikh and Lauren B’s performance was...interesting. At one point Marikh pulled money out of Lauren B’s ass, like a magician. My feelings of the entire spectacle can be summed up with this cutaway shot, of a lady in the audience. I feel you girl!

• During the evening portion of the date, Krystal was the first to take Arie away, and this stirred up more animosity from the other girls. Krystal is our villain, yet again. 15 Points
• Krystal whisper-purred at Arie, asking if he wanted her to be more aggressive or be more laid back. Arie, being put on the spot, answered the only way he could. He told her to just do whatever she feels is natural, which Krystal took as permission to let her claws out.
• Everyone knows the cardinal rule of getting ahead in the Bachelor is ‘Don’t tattle to the Bachelor about another contestant!’ Here we are, three weeks in, and what does Bibiana do? Complain to Arie about Krystal. Why would she do that? Doesn’t she know that’s the kiss of death?  -15 Points
• Maquel interrupted Krystal  5 Points
• Bekah received the group date rose 10 Points
• Krystal was certain she would get the group date rose, and was shocked when it was given to Bekah. This only solidified her decision to be MORE aggressive in the future. -10 Points

Date #2:

• The one-on-one date went to Lauren S. She was taken to a winery, which was handy, since I’m sure Arie would have wanted to drink himself into a stupor by the end of the date.
• Lauren would not shut up, but at the same time, didn’t ever say anything of substance.
• They ended up talking about bedtimes, cardigans and her mother’s “really bad eye infection”
• In the end, Arie decided not to give her the date rose, and she was sent home early. It’s probably for the best. She could have been exposed to her mother’s pink eye, and we don’t want that sweeping through the mansion! -25 Points
• She cried during her exit interview -2 Points
• Back at the mansion, Caroline cried when Lauren B’s luggage was taken away -2 Points
• Krystal continued being insufferable, doling out unwanted advice. This rubbed all the girls the wrong way, especially Caroline who quipped, “stop being condescending just because you met his dog”

Date #3:

• What a segway! This next date was doing just that; meeting Arie’s dog! (and many other dogs.) Ashley, Becca, Brittany, Jenna, Caroline, Chelsea, and Annalise went on this date.
• Back at the Mansion, Bibiana and Tia lamented the fact that they got a wrestling date, while the other girls are getting to play with puppies. They even prayed someone would get bitten. Nobody likes a Bitter Betty, girls.
• I’m tyring really hard not to make fun of Annalise’s mental instability, but c’mon. First the motorcycle, then the bumper cars, and now she’s trying to tell me she had a traumatic experience with dogs, as well? My dear, if you’re that fragile, perhaps you don’t belong on TV. Go home. Take care of yourself.
• Annalise was aptly given the job of pooper scooper, for being the party pooper.
• Caroline interrupted Chelsea, and Chelsea interrupted Annalise later (thank God!) 5 Points Each
• Annalise’s time with Arie was filled with awkward silence. Chelsea almost did her a favour by interrupting
• Chelsea got the group date rose 10 Points
• Becca K thought for sure she’d get it and was disappointed -10 Points

Cocktail Party:

• Bibiana set up a make-shift cabana so she could woo Arie by gazing at the stars with him. This however didn’t turn out as planned. Arie discovered the set up, while with Lauren B. After that, he brought just about EVERY women in the house there. Except Bibiana. I thought she was going to explode, but she managed to keep her cool about it. Perhaps she realised that Arie just wasn’t that into her, and there was no used fighting it at that point.
• The same can not be said for Annalise. She clung on tooth and nail.
• First she took Arie to the balcony, where she cornered him and pretty much asked for a kiss. I could almost hear a Jamaican crab softly singing in the distance...

• But Arie told her he didn’t think they were quite there yet. Ouch!! Rejected! -10 Points
• Annalise went to the bathroom -15 Points and cried -2 Points
• Meanwhile Arie was getting straddled by Jenna.
• Annalise took Arie aside a second time and asked him what he meant by “yet”. Arie admitted he just wasn’t feeling it and sent her home. -25 Points
• She cried as she left -2 Points
• Throughout the course of the night Bibiana interrupted Lauren B, Kendall interrupted Annalise, and Annaliese interrupted Tia  5 Points Each
• Bibiana was eliminated during the rose ceremony and she cried during her exit -2 Points I’m going to miss her one-liners!

Recap:

• Bibiana: 5-2-2-15=-14
• Kendall: 5
• Annalise: 5-2-2-25-10-15=-49
• Maquel: 5
• Caroline: 5-2=3
• Chelsea: 5+10=15
• Krystal: 15-10=5
• Bekah: 10
• Tia: -2-2=-4
• Lauren S: -2-25=-27
• Becca: -10

The Bachelor 22 Episode #2 Recap (Spoilers!!!)

Hey guys,

Let’s get right to this week’s recap!

Date #1:

·         Becca K. received the first one-on-one date of the season, and left the mansion with Arie, on a motorcycle.

·         Annalise voiced her concern,  because motorcycles are dangerous. Lol!

·         Whoo! Was this ever a  good date to be chosen for! Becca is one lucky girl, because Arie (aka ABC) showered her with expensive gifts. She got a rack full of dresses from celebrity stylist/designer Rachel Zoe; sparkly Louboutin shoes; Neil Lane jewelry; the whole shebang!

·         Cruelly, Becca was made to walk through the mansion, in front of the other women, toting her new wardrobe. This, of course, stirred up jealousy amongst the other women.

Meanwhile, the producers are like…

·         During supper, Becca opening up about her father passing from brain cancer 10 Points

·         Becca told Arie she was interested in him because she “was told he could fix the breaks on {her} car” Haha! Priorities!

·         They ended the night kissing in a glitter shower

https://imgflip.com/i/pr9vq

Date #2:

·         There was a knock on the door, for the delivery of the date card, and Bibiana said “Honestly, that sounds like the haunting” Lol! She’s fantastic! I think I can count on her for the best sound bites this season.

·         Krystal gets the second one-on-one date. I’m just going to lay this out there. I CAN’T STAND HER! She seems so fake!! Ugh, when she sees Arie and does her trying-too-hard-to-be-cutesy “Hiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!”  Barf! 

·         He took her to his hometown to meet his parents, and they really liked her (terrible judge of character! She’s awful!) 20 Points

·         They watched old home movies of Arie, which made Arie cringe so hard he couldn’t watch. Haha! It was adorable.

·         At supper, Krystal opened up about her hard life. Her father left them, her mother was emotionally unavailable, and her brother is now living on the streets. And dang it, now I feel bad for her...sort of… Her sob story still doesn’t squash my irrational loathing of her, though.

·         She cried while discussing her brother’s situation. -2 Points

·         They get a private concert by Connor Duermit 15 Points

Date #3:

·         This date was huge, with 15 girls in attendance! Maquel, Marikh, Tia, Valerie, Annalise, Lauren G, Kendall, Bekha, Jenny, Sienne, Jenna, Caroline, Brittany, Bibiana, and Chelsea all participated in the “Bashelor” demolition derby.

·         The guy, instructing the girls, told them “ You don’t want to kill the barrels. You want to miss the barrels.” Cut to footage of multiple cars not just hitting the barrels, but all out driving over them. 

·         Sassy Chris Harrison decided to give Arie a hard time by saying “Could this be the first time Arie actually wins something on a racetrack?” ZING!

·         Annalise had a complete meltdown. She apparently had a traumatic experience with bumper cars when she was little, and now she’s having flashbacks.

·         She cried on two separate occasions. Once when she was with the other girls, and once while doing an interview -2 x2=-4 Points

·         First the motorcycle thing and now this? She does know she’s competing to MARRY a RACECAR DRIVER, right? If she’s that nervous now, how is she going to keep it together when he has an actual race?

·         But it paid off in the end, because Arie rewarded her with extra time, for being a sook.

·         Jenny was not too impressed. She snarked that she “didn’t know bumper car trauma was a thing” 

·         Sienne won the derby. She also got the group date rose 10 Points

·         At the evening portion, Bibiana got pissed off because it was nearing the end of the night and she hadn’t had a chance to speak to Arie. She stormed off to the bathroom to avoid the cameras -15 Points

Cocktail Party:

·         Brittany had her boobs on full display tonight. But not to be outdone, Caroline had her freaking boobs/sternum/naval out. Where was the rest of her dress?

·         Kendall introduced her stuffed seal to Arie.

·         Jenna interrupted Caroline; Kendall interrupted Lauren B; and Krystal interrupted both Lauren B, and Bibiana (which didn’t go over too well) 5 Points Each (20)

·         Kendall said “steal him away” once 5 Points and Chelsea said it twice 5x2=10 Points

·         Speaking of Krystal interrupting, she ruffled some feathers when she pulled Arie aside TWICE when she already had a rose. She quickly became the villain of the episode 15 Points

·         Bibiana gave her a piece of her mind, and the two got in a heated argument 10 Points each

·        Bibiana told her, “Learn to speak to me like a human being, and not with a fake tone. Because I’m not going to fall for this lalalalala. You have to be kidding me. You need to check yourself before you check on anyone else.” 

https://giphy.com/gifs/the-office-thank-you-michael-scott-1Z02vuppxP1Pa

·         Jenny, Lauren G and Valerie were eliminated

·         Jenny stormed out without saying goodbye. Arie chased her to smooth things over. She pretty much told him she’ll miss the friends she made in the house, more than she’ll miss him. She still cried though -2 Points She couldn’t believe Arie kept a taxidermist over her.

Recap:

Krystal: 5+5+10+15+20+15-2=68

Jenna: 5

Kendall: 5+5=10

Chelsea: 5+5=10

Bibiana: 10-15=-5

Becca: 10

Seinne: 10

Annalise: -4

Jenny: -2