Well, here we are again guys! Another season of the Bachelor is upon us! It looks like it’s going to be a good season. The previews show lots of drama, crying and cat-fights! My favourite. Haha!
The show open’s up with a reminder of who Arie is. It’s been years since he was on Emily’s season of the Bachelorette, so we needed a little refresher. Arie is a real estate agent who is also a racecar driver. This is going to come up again later (and again...and again...and again).
We then get a few introductions to a couple of the girls. Why are there 4 girls named Lauren, 2 Becca (Bekha) and 2 Brittany (Brittane)? As if it wasn’t already hard enough to tell them apart. The produces are toying with me!
The most notable introductions are:
Nysha: The adrenaline junkie nurse who declared she once had a patient with a gunshot wound and loved it. “the more blood the better!”. Yipes!
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| memegenerator.net |
Tia: She’s from a place called Wiener AK. And is BFFs with Raven from Nick’s season.
Kendall: Is setting herself up to be the next onion girl. Her hobbies include collecting taxidermy and playing ukulele, in a tree, to a stuffed seal. (and no I don’t mean a plush toy)
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| http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/1122380/Seal/ |
Marikh: She said in her interview, “I think dating someone who is dating other women will be hard. I’m used to being perused” Whoo boy! I can smell the drama off this one already.
Chelsea: A single mom who makes peanut butter sandwiches for her kid, who we don’t get to see (but a close up of the PB sandwich action, though!). She’s also a dead ringer for Olivia (from Ben’s season), and seems just as crazy...
Krystal: This one is going to get annoying, I can tell. She’s a hippy-dippy online fitness instructor, dedicated to helping people “reach their full potential” (I already hate her. Lol!). She also feeds the homeless “yummy snacks” (It’s probably a bag full of broccoli)
Then we move on to the meat of the show
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| https://memegenerator.net/instance/69030429/chad-bear-deli-meat-the-only-thing-better-than-chad |
- Lots of gifts were given through the course of the evening 10 Points each
- Tia gave Ari a cocktail wiener, and told him she hopes he doesn’t already have a tiny wiener. Ba-dum-tis! 10 Points extra for the joke
- Bri – Ball
- Sienne – Elephant cuff-links
- Brittane J – Bumper sticker
- Jenny – Picture
- Caroline – Pizza
o Lauren G - Pineapple
- Lauren J – Giant Mardi Gras Beads
- Jessica - Rock
- Becca – Ring box
- Ashley – Flag
· Two people arrived in unique transportation 20 Points Each
o Bekah M. arrived in a classic car
o Maquel arrived in a race car
· Only Annalise wore anything unusual (no shark costumes this time). She wore a mask and said she was the kissing bandit. For all the bravado of wearing a costume, she still lacked the confidence to, you know, steal a kiss, being the kissing bandit and all. What was the point, if you’re not going to follow through? 20 Points
· Jessica mentioned her deceased father. She told a story of how her father met Arie once. She seemed to think this meant she and Arie were destined to be together. 10 Points
· Amber told Arie that, as a professional spray tanner, she’s seen a lot of dick and she hopes he’s not one. 10 Points for the joke but, GIRL! What in the name of God were you thinking? Telling a man how much dick you’ve seen in your life, is not a good way to flirt!
· Speaking of weird moves, in attempt to make a lame race car joke Ali told Arie she needed a “Pitstop” and proceeded to ask him to sniff her arm pit. Let me repeat that. ASKED. HIM. TO. SNIFF. HER.ARMPIT!!!!!!
· And as if it couldn’t get any worse, along came Jenna. Move over taxidermy girl, Jenna is taking the crown for weirdest contestant, this season. Jenna must be on drugs. That’s not even a joke. She has to be high on something. She couldn’t sit still and bounced from topic to topic. To make the best of it, she gave Arie a pedicure and foot massage. A little weird for a first impression, no? At least he won’t forget her.
· Brittany T. had Arie race her in toy cars. She got a kiss at the end of it. First kiss of the season! Even though it was a pretty chaste kiss, with no tongue, he kissed her willingly so it counts 25 Points
· Kendal played the ukulele for Arie. Was she trying to make her stuffed seal jealous? -15 Points
· Bibiana said that since Arie has blue eyes, her children will have blue eyes. A) I’m not sure that’s how genetics work; B) That doesn’t feel like a normal thing to say about a man you’ve met 5 minutes ago
· Bekah M asked Arie “what excites you” and his response was “uhhhh….excitement”. Excitement excites him???
· Chelsea let the claws out and wasted no time showing her catty side. She took Arie aside TWICE! The mayhem! All the girls pretty much hate her now, and she’s shaping up to be a pretty good villain 15 Points
· Lots of interruptions occurred 5 Points Each
o Maquel interrupted Chelsea (which angered Chelsea, because she’s a crazy lady)
o Seinne interrupted Nysha
o Amber interrupted Sienne
o Brittane J interrupted Amber
o Chelsea interrupted Krystal (because it’s somehow ok when she does it)
· Chelsea, Maquel and Bekah M all used the phrase “steal him/you away” 5 Points Each
· Chelsea got the first impression rose 25 Points
Rose Ceremony:
· Brittane J, Jessica, Amber, Ali, Bri, Lauren J, Nysha and Olivia all were sent home
· Jessica cried because now her deceased father will not have met her husband. – 2 Points
· Amber cried too -2 Points
And the evening was so long that the sun was coming up by the time the girls went home. Time for bed Arie!
Recap:
Seinne: 5+10=15
Brittane J: 5+10=15
Chelsea: 5+5+15+25=50
Maquel: 5+5+20=30
Bekah M: 5+20=25
Tia: 10+10=20
Bri: 10
Amber: 5+10-2=13
Jessica: 10+10-2=18
Annalise: 20
Caroline: 10
Lauren G: 10
Lauren J: 10
Becca: 10
Ashley:10
Jenny: 10
Kendell: -15
Brittany T: 25
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